Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Franklin J. Boodle Culmer 1987-2007

Before Sarah & I were married, I always wanted a cat, an animal that she had never exactly warmed up to. A retail job during her illegal alien days introduced her to a lovely cat called Thomas, so she softened a bit on that front. I seized the opening, and 5 days after our wedding, I went to Bide a Wee, a local NY shelter to look for a cat to start our married life together with. Unfortunately, our landlord had decreed no pets, so I got the bright idea to get a cat that had already been declawed so he wouldn't leave marks. I met a 2 year old male called "Sweetie" who seemed a little shy & since he was the only one who was suitable, I adopted him. Since he was a cat and couldn't object, we immediately christened him Frank.

Frankie lived through the dark studio days on 83rd Street (bright idea not - we lost most of our deposit due to damaged floors), 22nd Street, 35th Street, Sterling Place & sometimes at Oak Hill Road upstate. He survived what can only be described as Penis removal surgery at the age of 7. A nasty bout of fleas while living in pretty much squalor in Ft. Lauderdale was certainly a low point for us all.

He outlived Lloyd, his beloved "brother" who he shared a bed with for 12+ years. After several years of extreme skittishness, he decided that he was in love with Sarah & would incessantly follow her around the house to sit on her lap or try and get between us in bed. He was definitely around for several of our attempts to start a family.

He truly hated riding in the car the last few years. Ususally by the time we had arrived at the Brooklyn Bridge (a journey of only 2 miles)for a trip upstate he had performed the "Trifecta," which involves relieving himself from all three main orifices. We got the hint and let him stay in Brooklyn most weekends.

Frankie died today at the unlikely age of 19 1/2. If he could have held on a little longer he could have voted in the next election. Grace has been told he has gone to live with all of Brooklyn's really old & sick kitties. Apparently if you tell a little kid that a pet has gone to sleep forever, then sleep can become frightening. She's already stopped napping, so the sleep lie was tossed in favor of the feline Century Village ruse.

Good night Frankie.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Best thing About Monica Goodling testifying

We won't have to see the same damn picture on line at every single web site of her. You know the one. Where she looks like she is at band camp.

Watching the Wheels Turn

Yesterday, Sarah called her Aunt Audrey in the UK at around 8AM and Audrey did not answer the phone. She mentioned to Grace that perhaps Audrey was out having lunch.

Lunch at 8:30AM? This does not compute to a child that has just eaten her 3rd breakfast.

How do you explain the world time zone concept to a 2 1/2 year old. In short, you don't really.

Today Grace had clearly been digesting this strange notion of lunch at 8:30 AM. She said someting to the effect of: People in England eat their dinner in their bed in the morning".

The questions are coming fast and furious these days. Today's best:

"Mommy, what is a process?"

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

A Great Thing About Being An Adult

When I was a teenager, we would go out in groups, usually to a sorry local chain restaurant called Wags, whose mascot was a sort of raccoon. (bad idea: a rodent as your icon) Inevitably, there would not be enough cash on the table to cover the bill, so eventually Chris Keathley & I would summon up our Prostestant Guilt and round out the bill. (It's like Catholic Guilt but you can't actually feel guilty)

Tonight was Guys night at a local pub in Chatham. When the bill came, we all ponied up. Even after the tip was figured in, we had an extra $40, which was put towards next month's evening. And we tipped her at over 30%. Sweet.

A subway quiz

Quck: What color is the W Train? The G Train? The V Train?

If you have any trouble, just ask Grace. She has committed every train color to memory. The D Train took a little coaxing, but she ended up at 100%.

I realize it's not the state capitals, but hey, she's not even three yet. Give her some time.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Bathroom Humor

Grace has fashioned her first joke. And it's a pun no less.

Several times now in the bathroom, she has said "Boys have peas & corn in the bathroom." (pees)

She finds this endlessly amusing.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

New Name for Our House

Tantrums R Us.

It is amazing what a weekend away at a wedding and a couple of working nights (Thursday & Friday I started at 5PM and worked all night) does to a small child's psyche.

This morning there was a total meltdown, with Grace literally screaming "MOMMY MOMMY I DON'T WANT DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!" as I attempted to merely put on a pair of trousers & a shirt. Being a modern city child, Grace was wailing for her "YOGA PANTS!!!!!!!" whatever they are. The trousers I was attempting certainly looked like the pants Sarah wore to Yoga so I tried in vain to call them YOGA PANTS!!! as I forced them on her legs. Eventually an overexhausted mum strode in from the shower to calm things down.

This is one of those days where I am certain that this blog is perfectly named. While I never feel like a stranger, I do feel a step behind on some days.